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Give us the room. We'll give it back with notes.

One photo in. One brutally useful roast out. Pick the budget, set the heat, and decide whether it stays between us.

01 / The evidence

Upload one room photo

Your photo is used only to create your roast. It stays private unless you opt in below.

02 / Set the brief

What room are we judging?

Fix budget

Under $100Quick wins$100–$300Real change$300–$750Full reset$750+No excuses

Roast intensity

GentleDirect, not devastating.SpicyThe truth has seasoning.Scorched earthYou asked for smoke.

Where should we send the roast?

You may share this roast publiclyOptional. This gives RoomRoast permission to feature your photo and roast in public content. No check means private.

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